The rain plays nicely with the end of a hot, Indian summer. As the air freezes over, all of life seems to change. Silence- greater, and the noise- dead and gone until Spring's alarm unravels it from a well deserved rest. Sitting by myself I can observe two minute people in the world. The only ones, for that matter, who surround my thoughts at this time. Perhaps it is the recipe of their pronounced, emphatic voices, mixed with the atmosphere's calm. I am just the right distance away to engage in their soothing rhythm of cries; an indescribable satisfaction to the ear. I want to sit here for hours, only to watch.
"Why did I ever marry you?!"
Clearly she is not actually screaming these words in honesty, for she has the pacing of an actress. Her engrossing stance won't allow my eyes stray. One hand clasps the script, the other flails about as she hotly tries to embody the spirit of her character. Stepping into their world- the actor's world- is an intimate experience, perhaps because I am watching from a distance, taking their moment as my own.
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2 comments:
This passage was a good scenic painting. Words blended well into each other so it read like the smoothness of a stroke.
But, like most scenic paintings hanging up on living room walls (to liven it up a little, as they say), it felt devoid of any real important content.
It was real "pretty", but it was vapid. I didn't read any of you in this. You have more life to you than that; I know it.
"But that is entertainment" was especially out of place and completely unnecessary. It destroyed the consistent tone of the passage.
Invest more emotion. If you're not feeling something strong in your gut while writing, then don't force yourself to throw up.
But, uh, let's all chill soon.
Yes, it paints a pretty mental image, and that's about it. I wrote it a while ago and I agree it lacks any purpose, except for the feeling at that moment.
It is easy to fool a person of non-literary eyes, but that is exactly what I am trying to avoid.
I will try to work on taking the fluff out of things and doing some ACTUAL writing.
Thanks, and yes, let us chill.
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